Seniors feeling lost? Rediscovering Identity in Aging & Empowering Seniors

By: Shernis Ong

It is not uncommon for the elderly to feel a sense of loss or confusion about their identities. The ageing process can bring about various physical, social, and emotional changes that may shift their roles in their families and communities, challenging their sense of self. How can we then help our elderly parents and loved ones in rediscovering their sense of self and identity? 

Understanding Loss of Identity with Age 

As we embark on new stages in life, our identity changes with our priorities and values, and what’s important to us gets redefined. Major changes such as old age, loss, retirement and mobility significantly affect the way the elderly understand themselves and how they relate to the world. Below are some examples that may trigger an elderly’s loss of identity: 

Empty Nest Syndrome

Parents tend to devote themselves entirely to their families and their children, where their children provide their lives with purpose and meaning. When their children are young, parents serve as their children’s caretakers, providing them with love and support.

However, as these parents grow older, so do their children. As their children approach adulthood, they no longer depend on their parents for support and advice, and they begin to move out into houses of their own with their new families. Parents may experience a loss of identity and purpose as they embark on this new stage in life, as the feeling of not being needed by their children is new and foreign to them.  

Transitioning from Caregiver to Dependent 

As our elderly parents age, they begin to depend more heavily on us in terms of financial support, transportation or personal care. Parents who are used to taking on the caregiver role their whole lives may find it embarrassing to suddenly become the one being taken care of. This may lower their self-esteem and bring about feelings of shame as they admit that they need help from their children.

Retirement Blues  

While some may enjoy retirement and use the extra time to pursue their own interests and hobbies, others whose identities were closely tied with their work may lose their sense of identity and meaning.

Our careers and jobs keep us occupied for most of our lives, and retirement may diminish the elderly’s sense of accomplishment and purpose in life. This causes the elderly to lose their identity, as they search for new projects and passions to spend all of their extra time on. 

Rediscovering Identity in Aging

However, by providing the right support and fostering opportunities for self-discovery, we can help the elderly rediscover their sense of identity and live fulfilling lives.

1. Staying Active  

Staying active through regular exercises can not only improve the health of the elderly, it can also provide the elderly with other benefits, such as social interaction with others and exploring the outdoors. It can also help to improve their mood and fight off depression. 

Encourage your elderly parents to go for a walk in the park every now and then, do simple stretching exercises every day, join an elderly-friendly strength-training gym or attend Tai Chi classes. Joining a community to exercise may also motivate them to form a routine.   

2. Embracing New Interests: 

Introducing new interests and hobbies can be an excellent way for the elderly to expand their horizons and discover hidden passions. Encourage them to explore activities they’ve always been curious about, such as painting, gardening, music, or learning a new language. Participating in community classes, workshops, or joining local clubs can also help seniors connect with like-minded individuals, fostering a sense of belonging and purpose. Such activities can also help with keeping their minds active, reducing the risks of dementia.

3. Promoting Social Connections:

Loneliness and social isolation are common challenges for many elderly individuals. By actively promoting social connections, we can help them build meaningful relationships and create a sense of belonging. Encourage regular visits from family and friends, organise social gatherings, and explore senior centres or community groups that offer social activities tailored to their interests.

At Care Corner’s Active Ageing and Day Care Centres, we engage the elderly with meaningful social interactions with our caregivers and other elderly members, as well as stimulating activities to keep their minds active. Encourage your parents to join us in forming nurturing bonds with others in their community!

4. Embracing the Present:

Another way to empower our elderly loved ones is by shifting their focus from dwelling on the past to embracing the present. While reminiscing about cherished memories can bring joy, constantly living in the past can hinder their ability to fully engage with the present and transition into this new stage of their lives.

Try directing their attention to the present by asking them to list 3 things that they are grateful for in the present – this helps seniors cultivate mindfulness and a sense of gratitude for what they have in their lives right now. By embracing the present, seniors can open themselves up to new experiences, explore their interests, and foster a positive outlook on life, leading to improved mental well-being and a more fulfilling seniorhood.

5. Volunteer and Mentorship Opportunities:

Engaging in volunteer work or mentorship programmes can provide a renewed sense of purpose and identity for seniors. Many organisations and community centres offer opportunities for elderly individuals to contribute their knowledge, skills, and experience to make a positive impact. By helping others, they not only regain a sense of self-worth but also feel valued and appreciated by their communities.

6. Embracing Technology:

Technological advancements have opened up a whole new world of possibilities for the elderly. Encouraging them to explore digital platforms, social media, and online communities can help them connect with friends, family, and individuals with shared interests. Learning to navigate technology can enhance their sense of independence, boost cognitive abilities, and open doors to various learning opportunities.

For example, there are multiple initiatives for elderly who wish to become more tech-savvy. Those who are interested can check out Seniors Go Digital or other courses and classes available out there. 

7. Seeking Professional Support: 

How Care Corner can help you and your loved ones

At Care Corner Gerontological Counselling Unit, our eldercare-trained counsellors help seniors address and navigate their personal, social and psychological challenges.  We listen and understand the seniors’ unique situation, allowing us to assess their needs and work towards providing them better care and support. These sessions can take place at our centres or at the comfort of your parents’ homes.

Let us help empower your elderly parents to take control of their own identities and lives. Contact us at 6258 6601 or icm.gcu@carecorner.org.sg for more information.

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