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教养方式
陪伴孩子成长是一项充满挑战的任务。要协助孩子活出健康的自我，家长和老师的角色是相辅相成的。了解孩子成长发展的心理需求，用适当的方式管教，更能贴近孩子的心。
（一）正确引导和鼓励孩子
当孩子做错事或成绩不如预期中理想时，打骂不只会让孩子感到惧怕和不满，同时也让他们觉得自尊受伤。当孩子觉得受伤时，他会通过伤害其他人来发泄心中的不满，因为你对他打骂的行为提供他学习的模式。
其实，孩子要的是正确的引导和鼓励。明确地告诉他需要改进之处，耐心引导。改变不是一朝一夕就能达成的，只要孩子有一点点的进步，给他口头的赞赏和肯定，他就会有信心继续进步！
（二）正视孩子的要求和感受
当孩子提出要求例如养宠物时，别立刻拒绝他，这会让他觉得你很专制、没有商量的余地，结果背着你偷偷做一些事，后果更让人担心！
不妨先听孩子的要求，以了解他的想法和感受，如果还是觉得不合理，你可以和他分享你的意见和看法。
对于孩子提出的要求，我们也可以要求他先证明自己有充足的准备和责任心，以此作为重新考量的条件。
要知道，了解自己和孩子沟通的方式，正是孩子学习的榜样。十年前，孩子听我们的；十年后，我们听他们的！
反思：
当你的孩子或学生做错事或对你提出要求时，你可以如何更有效的应对？
您可从“抱抱我的心—25封孩子的信”一书中得到更多辅导孩子议题处理小贴示。请按这里
如有询问，请联络:
关怀辅导中心
电话: 6353-1180
辅导热线：1800- 3535 800
电邮: cccc@carecorner.org.sg
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Parenting Skills
Growing up with your children is a challenging task. Both teachers and parents play complementary roles in the course of helping them to develop healthily. In becoming children’s confidantes, it is vital to understand their psychological needs and adopt the appropriate means of discipline.
1. Proper guidance and encouragement
Beating and scolding children when they have done wrong or when they perform below expectations will only lead to fear and resentment. Furthermore, their self-esteem will be hurt. Children will model after adults’ behavior and inflict harm upon others to vent their unhappiness.
Children need proper guidance and encouragement. Explain to them areas that need improvement. Express words of affirmation and appreciation at the slightest improvement. Change does not occur overnight, be patient while providing guidance. This will boost children’s confidence to persist in their progress.
2. Face up to their demands and feelings
Do not reject children outright when they requests for something, for example, wanting to keep a pet. Children may perceive you as an “authoritarian” and may resort to doing things secretly behind your back which is even more worrying.
Listen to your children’s request and understand their thoughts and feelings. Share your point of view if the reasons given are unacceptable. While considering your children’s request, you may help them to set guidelines that demonstrate their readiness to shoulder responsibilities.
Be mindful, children model after adults’ interaction patterns. Someone once said:
“A decade ago, children have to listen to us, ten years later, we listen to them!”
Reflection:
How would you respond effectively, when your child/student made a mistake or laid a request to you?
More counselling tips on children’s issues can be found in the book “Hugs For The Heart - 25 Letters from Children” click on link
For enquiries, please contact:
Care Corner Counselling Centre
Tel: 6353-1180
Email: cccc@carecorner.org.sg
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